Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Delusional Doom Blogfest!

Today is the deliciously foreboding day known as the Ides of March. Here's a bit of trivia: on the Roman calendar the term "ides" was used for the 15th of the months of March, May, July and October and the 13th of the other months. It probably referred to the full moon and the Ides of March was a festive day dedicated to the god Mars. Now it's best known as the day of Julius Caesar's death. In honor of the dramatic soothsayer who warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March!" today is also the day of the Delusional Doom Blogfest hosted by Hart Johnson of the blog Confessions of a Watery Tart. Here's the idea:

You can do ANY (or all) of the following:

Predict your own death
Predict someone ELSES death
Write your own obituary
Write someone ELSES obituary
Plot a murder of someone sorely asking for it, step by step

I've elected to write the obituary of one of the characters in my current WIP, in a decidedly tongue in cheek way. And I'm leaving it to you to figure out how serious or silly it is, whether it represents a real episode of my novel or is just a bit of fun, or if perhaps there's a little of both in it. Note: Most names are not at this time indicative of names that will appear in the finished story.

Sun God Swallowed by Evil Snake

     Re, Sun God, Lord of Light, was pronounced dead during the seventh hour of his daytime journey through the cosmos after an unprecedented incident where the face of the sun was hidden and darkness covered the land. The event in question occurred on the ninth day of the month of Paopi which is celebrated as the Festival of Jubilation in the Heart of Re. With thousands of worshipers gathered at the god’s temple in Iunu to witness the Festival, the demise of the god was made even more tragic by its very public nature.
    CNN, Cosmic Network News, is able to report that as the Barque of Millions of Years rose through the celestial plain in the early morning hours, Re was having trouble recovering from his nighttime struggles with the creature Apep, enemy of the sun. We spoke exclusively to the deity known as Sia, or perception, who travels with Re in the Mandjet boat.
    “Re was tired that morning,” Sia revealed. “I don’t think I have to stress how unusual that is. Something was wrong that night. Apep wasn’t beaten back as badly as usual and Re didn’t regain all his strength at his dawn rebirth.”
    The serpent of the Duat somehow escaped his watery realm of Wernes and gained enough strength to strike at Re in the god’s own celestial sphere, something that had only happened once before in history. This time Re wouldn’t survive the encounter, instead being swallowed by the great serpent. As this scene unfolded in heaven, chaos and terror reigned on earth.   
    “No one knew what was going on,” reports a witness at Iunu. “Even the King and all the Priests were running around scared. But it all happened during the procession of the statue of the god on its ceremonial barque. Just when they were climbing the temple steps with it the thing broke clean in two and the statue fell to the ground.”
    It is still unclear if these two incidents were in fact connected. CNN has been informed that experienced Priests are investigating the matter thoroughly.
    Re leaves behind a consort, Hathor, who reluctantly commented when CNN tracked her down. “Honestly, it’s never really been clear to me what our relationship was supposed to be. He was always one of those remote beings, you know? Spent all his time on that damn boat. I can’t say it’s going to make much difference to me that he’s gone.” Two children, Shu and Tefnut, and several grandchildren and great-grandchildren also survive the sun god.
    “No one knows what this will mean for the universe,” commented Shu. “It’s only been an hour since his defeat. We can’t possibly know what the consequences will- wait, what is that? Is that what I think it is? Is he bursting out of Apep’s tail??”
    After an hour in the belly of Apep, Re has apparently cut his way out again and as Apep sinks wounded back into the depths of Duat, Re is taking his place on the barque again. What an amazing spectacle! Re is continuing his journey across the sky. Sorry, folks, false alarm.


  1. Yes, I've noticed people are dying all over the blogosphere today.

    Ha! Nicely done. Cosmic Network News. Love it.

  2. I really liked your version of CNN... Very clever. Nicely done.

    I'm a new follower. I enjoyed your entry.


  3. HA! Very awesome! I love this twist on it!

  4. I've put up an obituary of a character of mine.

  5. Loved Cosmic Network News. I guess the "gods" are restless. Good story and nice to meet another fantasy author. I am self published so if you have questions, look me up.
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium, Special .99 through April 30

  6. so glad it was a false alarm - seems to happen a lot here in the so-called spring of Maritimes!
    Jan Morrison

  7. Oh! An eclipse?! Is that what we just witnessed? I love it! Very nice!

  8. Love the use of the Egyptian deities. Wonderful. What a fun blogfest this is.

  9. You are really creative. I enjoyed the story. Is your book written with this type of humor and mythology mixed together? It is really interesting. Did this take you a while to write? You have a lot of knowledge of the egyptian gods. Wasn't the seventh day Sabbath changed to counter the number of worshipers going to the sun-god's church? I seem to remember something about that. Anyway, very interesting and cute. CNN! Ha!

  10. Hart- You're right. It is an eclipse.

    Draven- I'm not sure what you mean about the Sabbath. The seventh hour I'm referring to is merely the 7th hour of a single day. The Egyptians divided a full day into 12 hours of "day" and 12 hours of "night". The length of the hours was constantly fluctuating as they essentially just divided the length of time from sunrise to sunset by twelve instead of having a standard length of an "hour".

    And no, my WIP is not this humorous. It is a serious fantasy work. But the setting is strongly based on Ancient Egypt.

  11. Hehe, great entry for the Blogfest!

    Love the image in back of your blog btw! Gorgeous.

  12. I love egypt... and have a fascination for it.
    nice work.


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